Paulita Lasola Malay
Licensed Marriage Family Therapist


Articles featuring Paulita


Role Model? Or Possibility Model? by David D. Burns, MD, the Feeling Good Insititute, MAY 20, 2017

Domestic Violence and the Filipino Community by Shelene Atanacio, Filipina Women Against Violence

All in the Mind by Cherie M. Querol Moreno, Filipinas Magazine, March 2006

Serendipity by Paulita Lasola Malay, MFT, May 2, 2009

From Darkness to Enlightenment by Philip Andres, April 27, 2009

From Darkness to Enlightenment
By Philip Andres

Eight years ago in 2001, I was living a very chaotic and unproductive life. I was 19 years old and a drug addict. I was also the father of a six-month-old baby boy. My addiction to methamphetamine led to a very rocky relationship with my girlfriend, mother of our infant. Our relationship turned into arguments that became horrible every single day. One day while I was high on drugs, I threatened to harm her with a gun replica which intimidated her. I was incarcerated and was ordered to attend anger management counseling. However, I was in such great denial that I thought I did not need counseling. I convinced myself that I did not do anything wrong. So why should I go? Therefore, I skipped counseling, missed my court dates, continued to surround myself with negative peers and to do drugs. That vicious lifestyle of mine resulted in my getting arrested seven more times. I was wanted in three different counties in the San Francisco Bay Area. Those days were the darkest days of my life. I didn't learn from my mistakes, I got terminated from counseling a couple of times; I was separated from friends, family, and worst of all, from my young son.

Upon my last conviction in 2003, I decided to turn my life into a different direction, towards enlightenment. Changing towards enlightenment was not easy. I was unable to get a job because of my criminal records. I was not able to see my growing baby boy on a regular basis. Instead of getting discouraged, I persevered and continued to believe that I will someday overcome these hurdles in my life.

I tried to become more involved with my domestic violence group counseling. With the help of my counselor, Paulita Malay, I learned to shift my thoughts and behaviors from negative to positive, to respect others, and to understand that any type of violence is unacceptable. With stops and starts, finally, I completed my Alternatives to Violence program. In 2004, I went back to school. I attended City College of San Francisco for my pre-nursing class and graduated in 2006 for my AA degree with the highest honors. I got accepted at San Francisco State University for the nursing program in the fall of 2006. Last December of 2008, I graduated with a BS in Nursing, Summa Cum Laude. I also got inducted to the Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing. In March 2009, I passed the Board Exams and I am now a Registered Nurse.

I have been drug free for almost six years now. I am now an advocate against Domestic Violence. I still visit Mrs. Malay's domestic violence counseling class every now and then to share my experience with the group participants. I also educate my family and friends about domestic violence and abuse. I now see my eight-year-old son on a regular basis. I replaced all my negative peers with positive ones.

Above all, I am now in a healthy relationship. I believe that as long as you surround yourself with nurturing and positive people, it is possible to change. As Mrs. Malay stated, I am living proof of that transformation.

April 27, 2009